Post-Partum Emotions?????

I think that this post can be chalked up to post-partum hormones still out of whack!! I am sitting here looking at my sweet little Mckenna and feeling so thankful that she is here. I am so in love with this child. Its amazing the amount of love you can feel for a child that you only met 3 1/2 weeks ago!!

Then of course my mind drifts to the little angel we lost. He would have been 8 months old right now! How different things would be. At the time I was feeling like his pregnancy was the last one for me. But I now know that this sweet little girl was in Heaven waiting to come to our family. Its so miraculous that the Lord has a plan for us so that everything works out.

My heart feels very heavy right now. I have spent the last hour or so reading over old blog entries about losing my angel. I am sitting here sobbing like a baby. I miss him so so much! I wish so badly I had a picture, footprint, or a hand mold of his to look at and hold. I just wish I had something of his. Some things in life are just not fair and losing him was not fair at all. Not getting any sort of momento of his was not fair either.

Before I lost him angel jewlery never ever interested me. Then about a month ago we were watching tv and this Kay Jewelers commercial came on. I saw this gorgeous angel necklace and knew immediately I wanted it. Ty and I were watching tv and the commercial came on and I pointed it out to him. He really liked it too. He got on the Kay Jewelers website and looked up the necklace. He then reported to me that it was a little pricey. I was a little bummed but certainly didn't want a ton of money spent on a necklace for me. Christmas morning arrived and Connor hands me a present from his dad. I open it up and find this: Boy did the tears start to flow! I was so happy. It is just gorgeous in real life. Now I can always have my angel near my heart! Thanks so much Ty for the surprise! I think this is one of the best gifts I have received. I love you Ty!