The girl in the blue dress

On the 15th Macie had her Christmas dance recital. She danced to The devil in the blue dress. She did so great! She knew the dance so well. Ty and I were so proud of her! After there was a special guest. Macie was right at the beginning of the line to tell Santa what she wanted. She couldn't believe that Santa knew she had a new baby sister! It was so much fun watching Macie dance. She has improved and matured so much since she was in dance a year ago. Good Job Macie!!!

Blessings

I am feeling very blessed right now. I have to be the luckiest mommy in the whole world. I have 3 beautiful children that I have been entrusted with to care for and love. I also have a sweet little angel in heaven who watches over us every single day. I just feel so lucky to have these 3 sweet spirits in my home. They have truly brought so much love and happiness into our family. I cannot imagine my life without them. Ty and I are so very blessed to have such a sweet little family.

More Mckenna

Here are some pics of Mckenna. Thought I would show off how stinkin cute she is!!!! I am so happy and blessed to have her come into our family. She has been a great baby so far. I am just loving life :)

SHE is here!!!!!

Mckenna Maria Dewolf made her appearance a little earlier than I even anticipated!!! I am so so happy that she is here safe and sound.
I had a dr. appointment on the 2nd and he checked me and I was dilated to 3cm and 40% effaced. He felt fairly confident that I would probably go in the next few days. I was cramping and just feeling uncomfortable the rest of the day. On the 3rd I woke up feeling about the same. Later in the afternoon I thought perhaps I was leaking amniotic fluid so at 4:00ish Ty and I went to the hospital. They checked me and I was not leaking fluid. I was still dilated to 3 but was now 50% effaced. They put me on the monitors for a while and I was contracting but it was anywhere from 5 to 10 minutes apart. So he sent me home and told me to come back if things got worse.
I went into the restroom to change and I saw water running down my leg. I was shocked! I said Ty I think my water really just broke....sure enough just walking back to the bed proved that! So that was at 7:00pm. At about 8:30 they checked me and I was 6cm. The contractions were definitely getting closer and stronger. I was still able to breath through them, but it was taking more concentration. I decided to get my epidural because I tend to dilate quickly. After having to have the epidural twice, the first one went into a blood vessel, I was starting to feel some relief. This was the best epidural I have ever had. It was just enough to take the edge off, but I completely felt everything! At about 9:30 or 9:45ish I was feeling a TON of pressure and had to close my eyes and really concentrate on not pushing. They checked me and I was complete and ready to go! I just had to wait for the doctor. When he finally got in there I was so relieved. I started pushing and 5 pushes later Mckenna made her debut at 10:17pm!!!!
This was my most emotional birth ever. I was so relieved that she was here safely. I am literally the happiest mommy on the whole planet! I was interested to see how "little" she was because she was only 37 weeks. Then I heard them say 7lbs 10oz and 19.5 inches long!!! Wow that is how much Connor weighed at 40 weeks! This little girl would have been a BIG girl had I carried her much longer!
I am so very blessed to have this sweet little girl in my life. She has made me so very happy. Sorry for the picture overload, but I think she is the cutest thing ever! By the way it was so worth it to not know her sex. It was awesome to hear the doc say Its a GIRL!!!!!

Preschool Fun

Today when I picked up Connor from school he came walking out wearing this adorable Pilgrim hat! He also had this Indian Headdress to wear. I just had to brag on how cute my little guy is!! He always has such a fun time at preschool. He always comes home with the cutest crafts and fun papers that he has been working on. Preschool has been the best thing for him! He is gaining independence from me. He is learning so much! He is getting so great at writing his name and telling me all the letters in his name. He is growing and learning so much.....I can't believe it!!

1 year Angelversary

I have thought about this day for a long time, but am shocked at how fast it got here! Today is my little angel's birthday. Today is his first angelversary in heaven.

I cannot believe it has been one full year! For the past few days I have been thinking about it and wondering how this actual day would affect me. I have been pretty emotional today. I have had happy and sad thoughts today. This experience of losing a child has impacted my life in more ways then one. My eyes have been truly opened. There is this whole world of baby loss out there that I never knew existed. I belong to a new group of women that I wish I didn't belong to. But having said that it has taught me so much and made me grow stronger.

Losing this little boy has made me realize just how precious life is. It has made me no longer take simple things....like having a healthy pregnancy.....for granted. I look at my husband and children in a new light. I am so thankful for the children I have here that I have been entrusted with to raise and love.

I am so grateful that the Lord entrusted me with his precious little spirit son for those short almost 19 weeks. I am so thankful that I was sealed in the temple with my husband and will be able to have my son once again. I know that he is in heaven looking down on me every day.

Today has been hard. I have smiled and cried. We all wrote our own little notes to our angel and tied them to balloons. We took our four balloons and released them to heaven for our angels birthday. The kids thought it was really neat to send their baby brother a birthday balloon and note in heaven. Here are a few pictures.

I just want my little angel to know that I think of him every single day. He will forever be apart of my life and I love him dearly. I cannot wait to have a joyous reunion with him and wrap my arms around him. Mommy loves you so so much :)

34 weeks!!!!!

So here is my baby update! I hadn't realized it had been so long. This hugely gross picture is me on Saturday at 34 weeks on the dot! I am getting pretty large!
Today I had my regular doctors appointment. I am 34 weeks 5 days. Everything with the baby looks really great. I did report to my doctor that I had been having backaches, lots of braxton hicks, and lots of cramping. He had me go over to the hospital to have a Non-stress test. It was so much fun to listen to the baby's heartbeat! While I was hooked up I had 3 contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart. They are uncomfortable, but not killing me. He didn't want to check my cervix, so he said to just watch the contractions. If they get closer together then to come back.
So I was sent home and told to take it easy, drink lots and lots of water, and put down my paintbrush!! For those who don't know I have been in this major painting mood the past few weeks. I have painted my living room, tv room, hall, and I just need to paint the room with the computer in it. We are getting measured for new carpet tomorrow and I was going to go home and finish painting, but Dr. B said NO! So I guess unless I want to get shipped to Provo, I better obey his orders and behave myself!